Friday, December 17, 2010
You used to always talk of there not being such a thing as true love. It was something that ate at you, tore you apart. Your fear of being alone and dying alone someday haunted you and kept you down. I always tried to comfort you and tell you that something like that was impossible because of how great of a person you were, that someday the right man would see you for who you truly are, cherish you, and never let you go. Well, I know you’re not around to see or hear it, but true love does exist. It’s not just something in stories, fairy tales and movies as you thought. For me, this entire year has been full of the ups and downs of unfathomable depth in co-existing with another person. My mind has been blown away over and over, and my view on life has forever been altered. I’ve met and shared time with true love. It has the same properties as fire – equal capacity of creation as well as destruction. And though right now it is in a destructive phase, creation will come out of it, and all in all, I can’t deny its infinite, unpredictable potential to make me feel as though I’m floating through life. It’s indescribable. The woman I have shared this experience with is incredible... but that’s an understatement. She is the best human I’ve ever met in my life. Since I met her I have truly enjoyed life to the fullest for the first time in my life. She is my equal. A rare bird. You two would’ve enjoyed picking away at me together I’m sure. I’m also sure you would’ve liked her. I wish you were here now so I could show you just how real and true it is. I wish I could tell you about all the amazing lessons I have learned. Maybe you’re out there on some alternate plane and you already know that such a thing can exist. Maybe not. I guess I just wish you could have experienced what I have. I know now that with this last year behind me, with all the unprecedented beauty and purity it brought, I could die tomorrow a grateful man. I am so grateful. Sad, but grateful. I just wish you could have felt what I have felt... maybe you would still be with us if you had. I can’t believe it’s been two years. I’m still in shock that you’re gone. Shannon, my dear friend... I miss you.