I have so much to say but I think it's all going to fall on deaf ears. Ears made of stone. Ears that are connected to a brain already convinced of another outcome. It seems anything I do or say now will be full of rot and stench and poisonous, caustic sludge. I have so much to express. I hope when I get the chance it's not going to be too late. Conclusions already told. Mind already sold. I've been sleeping okay again, but I'm more exhausted than I've ever been. This is so hard. I just want to move forward and prove myself. I just want it to be over. I suppose in a way it already is.
My trust in this is keeping me going. My knowledge of our past in all of this. We have always prevailed as long as we've trusted in one another. And that's not going to change now. At least not for me. No way, no how.
I just want to hear her voice.
I just want to see a sign of hope.
I just want to feel some of this heaviness come off.
I just wish she wanted this too.
And I just hope she is alright.